Patty and I are in White Marsh, MD this week for the Missions Conference of our home church, New Life Baptist.  New Life sent us out 15 years ago to plant a church, and they are sending us now to the Military. Its been great week so far, catching up with old friends we haven’t seen in years, meeting other missionaries, and having the mornings and afternoons free to relax and rest.

It feels good, and it feels strange. Nearly twenty years ago Patty and I visited New Life for the first time.  We were so young, our boys were just toddlers. Twenty years later so much has changed. Yet when old friend see us, its like the years between never happened. Many have asked us this week why we didn’t bring our boys with us. I had to pull out my phone, show them pictures of two young bearded men, and explain that my sons are grown men with jobs and lives of their own. That’s why they aren’t on my prayer cards. Patty and I are the older Missionaries, without ever having been the younger Missionaries.

The young Missionary couples we are meeting this week make us nostalgic. I told one that watching him preach reminded me that once I stood in that same pulpit young, vulnerable, and with a full head of black, not silver hair. Tonight I preach, the old man of the group. There was a time when that would have been an enormous pressure, a cause for a case of nerves. Not anymore. I’ve been doing this too long. This is my home church, my friends, my pastor.

There is still the great responsibility of preaching the Gospel. Thankfully that pressure never goes away. It keeps me tight, a bit edgy, and focused. I like that. But any feelings of “maybe I’ll bomb” are long gone. I know my God is greater than I am. I know He will use my feeble attempts to preach to His Glory. And I know my friends will forgive any failures.

I love being the older Missionary. I started in the Ministry when I was 30. In 11 days I turn 50. There is an ease that comes to a man as he ages. I’ve made it through much. Experienced the Power of God firsthand. When I started out in the Ministry I sought out mentors. Older men in the ministry who were not bitter. I didn’t always take their advise, but I tried to always listen. More often than not they were right. Now I am one of those old men in the ministry. Years behind me, ready to be there for the next generation. I pray I can help them make fewer mistakes than I did.